Adulting 101- how to be a successful part of a crazed society.

If there is one thing I have learned about growing older- it’s that I should be replacing the word “older” with “wiser” and I am about to tell you why..

FALL- fall is awesome but sucks at the same time if you think about it.. we love to watch the leaves die and create amazing landscapes- and cool weather and warm drinks – but gives us something to look forward to that we love so much and crave: SPRING AND SUMMER- trees and Flowers blooming – rain showers and sun! But

Since you are still reading- On to the real stuff that has you here: Adulting – and it is hard – and I had no idea what was coming for me! And remember – this is a judge free zone – I am not mocking or degrading or disagreeing- this is my expression (views/commentary) of how we live in this crazy 🌎!

Let’s start with some obvious things:

1. Don’t set goals with an age in mind! Ex. I want to own my own house by 26, I want to have kids and be married by 30, etc.. Goals are great to have – but don’t set yourself up to be let down when life isn’t rolling the way you think it’s supposed to!

2. Do not attend your high school reunion! Hopefully you have moved away from your hometown- and we have this thing called Facebook and it has given us the luxury to already know what all the people from your high school are currently doing – and you likely still don’t care. So don’t go – save your money and plan a trip with people you like.

3. Don’t have kids! If you don’t have any now, save yourself the trouble and just hang out with your friends who have kids. This has made me realize that I don’t want my own. I remember how reckless and wild my and my friends were in HS, and you want me to clone myself for me to watch over- no thank you! I’ll just keep vacationing while you post monthly growth charts and first day of school pics.

4. Be smart with your money but not – cheapskate. Set up a retirement fund- set up an IRA- buy some stocks- and then spend the money you work hard to earn! You deserve it! My folks and I don’t see eye to eye on this one, but I look at it like this: we get one trip around the sun, you can save all your money, but it doesn’t go into your cold earthy grave with you! Travel, try different foods, buy cool clothes and shoes, surprise your friends with little gifts, and live a little!

5. Vote- yes your vote does count! Millions did not vote and now we have a Cheeto-dicked orangutan sitting in our highest office and a bunch of clowns feeding his fat a$s circus peanuts. Vote! It is mandatory by law that your employer allows you 3 hours from on election day to get this done!

6. This is for the young readers: don’t get married. I once read a meme that made total sense about the topic of marriage. You are signing a paper to prove ownership over each other. What kind of sh#t is that? Why can’t two best friends cohabitate without a signed paper. Does this signed paper make you love someone more? I hope not. Divorce is more popular than marriage, and comes with a mess of financial issues and heartache. Also- that big huge wedding you want for thousands and thousands- forget about it and use the ceremony money for a down payment on a house- and then host a party inviting all the same people.

7. Final adult tip: while traveling through airport, DO NOT EVER continue to wear your neck pillow as you stroll to your next gate. You look like a complete idiot, and your crocs aren’t helping- you’re just letting us know you live in the dreaded South.

Now get out there and adult and don’t be be an As$h#le to people!

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